Chook Me!

Work on marriage, or date blast from the past?

Married 10 years. Not good. Fighting all the time. We haven't slept in the same bed in years. She hasnt' kissed me in years. We were separated for two years. We have two children. We separate again. She wants this separation to be a breather. To get space and work things out. Thing is , an ex girlfriend from college looked me up. She wants to meet. She wants to date. She's pretty hot too. Do I date the college chick, or try to work it out with the wife? (I have to admit, if me and wife haven't gotten it together in 10 years, I have dim hopes of success.) We've tried counseling, and it was an utter disaster. The counselor said that this was one of the few cases he has ever seen where the couple should split. :(

Public Comments

1. If you have already tried counseling, then move on.
2. I have given up my freedom and my relationships in the past for my "true" love from my past and both times, I realized too late that memories of who you remember that person to be, are not the same man/woman. and there were reasons that it didnt work out the first time
3. Unless you and your wife can stop the behaviors that lead to discord, you'll probably always have a bad relationship. That said, you need to finish one before you start another. I don't think it's ok to date while you are either living in the same house in seperate beds or full separated - you're still married. If you really would like to begin dating this other woman, be prepared to divorce your wife. You can't have both the family and the pretty hot chick. Let your wife know, too. Let her know how you're feeling, that you're feeling like giving up and trying something new, let her know you have an interest in this other girl. All the cards should be on the table.
4. I ended a 13 yr. marraige and we really really tried!!! It sounds like its time to move on just like it was for me. It was hard at first but if I hadn't left I would still be miserable.....you will know in your heart when its time to leave. It sounds like that time is fast approaching!!!!!!!! Call the ex-girlfriend!!!
5. if you're not happy togather then i would get out of the marriage. you have only one life to live. dont keep fight ingand being misserable. that hurts the kids as well you'll. tellher you dont think you'll can make it and both of you move on.
6. Have you tried your best to work it out? Why do you still live together? It's a little confusing. I would not use my college friend as a rebound. I'm not implying you are but look deep into yourself and analyze what kind of damage this can do to you and your family. If you are ready to move on, do so but don't drag people in the mud as you do so. Work on yourself. Work on being happy alone first, then you can start to make other people happy as well.
7. I doubt it's good for the kids to see you sleeping in separate beds - not a good example of what a relationship means. I agree with the others (and with you) that it's time to move on. That being said, I agree with the other post that you need to finish one thing before moving on to another. Let the ink dry on the divorce papers before you start dating someone else. No matter how hot she is... ;)
8. You never mentioned if you went to a marriage counselor or not..If you two haven't gone for help..How do you expect this relationship to work out! Or do you? It sounds like neither one of you really know what you want... You said you have two children..Do they listen to all this bickering and fighting going on?? You said you and your wife are separating again..For a breather? How about getting some professional help, instead of playing games with your lives and your children's lives.. Now you're talking about getting involved with an ex-girlfriend.. How about taking care of what's going on right now..Make up your minds what you're going to do once and for all..one way or the other..Good Luck!
9. Address first things first...you will be glad later that you did