Chook Me!

Is this my writing any good?

Entry Numero Uno Spoon by spoon calories enter my body. I’ve been starving myself all day until this evening when tears had reached my eyes due to the feeling in my stomach. Quickly I fixed myself some pasta to drown that feeling which I hate. As I ate it I promised myself that that would be the last thing I would have today, knowing that when dinner arrived I would be sitting at the dinner table pigging out once again. Dinner time came and sure enough I had 3 slices of pizza. Now, regretting that move I mourn over a bowl of pudding. Chocolate, my favorite. I cry because of this and because of that, and because of that and this. I cry because I hate my dad, and because I can never get the boy I want. And obviously I cry because I can’t let go of my food. My dear comfort food. Its not that I’m fat. My friends say I am skinny. And my mother does too. My sister calls me fat, even though I think she might be joking. I think I am average skinny. And I do feel beautiful and acknowledge that men do like some meat on girls bones. But when I flip through a magazine or walk outside and step into reality, my flaws stick out and I feel ugly. And well fat. I am 5’9 and 150 lbs. I promised myself I’d lose ten pounds in two weeks. I even added it as an event on my schedule on my cell phone. I was actually hoping to beat my goal lose twenty but I don’t want to be disappointed if I don’t. Tears collect in my eyes again as I reach for more chocolate pudding. I don’t want anymore. My stomach hurts. But I go for it anyways, since, well it is chocolate pudding. Back to reality…..AGHHH. Skinny girls don’t eat. They exercise, and well… don’t eat. But they look beautiful in the end and marry rich. With guys who drive around hummers and what not. And us, the not so skinny skinny people? We marry men with pot bellies, and body odor. Aka hicks. Well only if we are lucky. In my case, I probably won’t even get married. Guys don’t seem to like me. I don’t know what it is. My Personality or My Appearance. I tend to push it on my appearance, and my not so skinny skinniness. You see, I’ve never really had a boyfriend. The closest I’ve had to a boyfriend was Steve, and we didn’t really date. No person at the right state of mind could possibly consider my ‘relationship’ with Steven a relationship. All we did was hang out, like never, because I was too shy. Oh and he held my hand once, as we walked down the park back home. I will never forget that day because the butterflies in my stomach were doing back flips, I swear. Gulp… more pudding. Anyways, we must have been standing 5 feet apart from each other. Our hands were sweaty and I was only 14. Now two years later, I have gained no further ‘boyfriend’ experience. Sad,I know. Then what’s there to do? Fight with everyone because life is just not fair. Pick out little things that don’t matter, and make them huge, because they are. BAH . Release your inner monster. I hate this. Another thing I hate is guys. Especially Cody who started the whole skinnyness things. Stupid anorexic and bulimic cody, who now is a fucking model, and in denial of ever throwing up after having eaten way too much. Maria…. Not a model. Boy who broke her heart….model and with Maria’s friend. Well ex friend, who also was anorexic. Solution, ANOREXIA, duh. Entry Two Boys. Yes my favourite topic. Although I can never get any of the ones I’m into. Well let me tell you this, if you say I’m cute, and your decent looking then congratulations….not. You’ve just made a life long comitment to me. And no, that’s not a good thing. I am clingy and will need to know what your doing, where your doing it, and with who. Ha, I will need you to inform me that you are still alive every two minutes or so, and don’t you dare not text me for a whole day! Next Topic. RED HEADS. WHOOPIE. For some reason I seem to be attracted to that hair colour, and I would die, to be one myself. Yeah, I could dye it, but I would be a fake. I don’t wanna be fake, although sadly now a days it is unavoidable to be atleast a little bit ‘fake’. Actually, we might all aswell get FAKE tattooed on our forheads, in big bold black letters. Anyways, back to redheads. I don’t know what it is. Its not an obsession. I swear. Its just that most of the guys I have been attracted to in the past tend to have red hair. Oh, funny story. Me and my best friend Deneika started naming all red heads ‘shit’. So if this one ‘shit’ was super cute he would be the ‘cute’ shit. Or gangster ‘shit’, cool ‘shit’. Lol, I could really go on forever. And yes I do feel like a bit of a creeper sometime, but I really can’t help it. I’m sure everyone has their hair color preferences. Bah, someday I will hopefully have two red headed children. Although I once did hear that inorder to create red headed offsprings , both parents have to be red headed themselves. So I might have to adopt. Bahh. I don’t even want kids. But since I probably wont marry, especially not a redhead I will probably just have to adopt. I wonder if there is a high demand on red headed children, since they will be extinct in a couple of 50 years. I heard that on the radio. (z103.5). No jokes. Call in and ask for yourself if you don’t believe. Anyways… All I’ve had today was another chocolate pudding in the morning. Not so ‘low’ calories, but better then a whole fricken meal, like eggs, bacon and etc. Even though I don’t eat eggs or bacon or all that other typical Canadian breakfast type of deal. Its gross, and has wayyy to many calories! And I’m vegan. A vegetarian who doesn’t consume any animal products. So clearly I don’t participate in the dead pig over fryingpan in oil. YUCK. But I do have leather shoes. I know, it’s an awful thing. But like I always get nice shoes from my parents like adidas, or converse, and they already paid for them, and no returns, and yade yade yade. Whatever. I’m still vegan. {VEH-GUN}. Why? Animal rights, and I really don’t feel like ranting about it and attempting to lecture you about how bad farms are, but I’m gonna do it anyways. Meat is EVIL. And bloody. Bah. Screw it. Animals get tortured before they reach your local KFC, McDonalds. Yes, its true. Yep, your burger was once the anus of a poor baby cow, and your chickennuggets/wings were once part of some poor helpless chicken. Yes, and they did not get ‘put down’ like your dogs, cats and goldfish do , or what ever the hell of a pet you have, with a quick painless vaccination. No they get their heads chopped off, and then stuck into boiling water,which removes their feathers. And yes, they usually drown or burn from this ‘boiling’ water. While this is happening to chickens, Cows are being hung on one of their hind legs, and their throats are slit. Yum. Want fries with that??? I sure have lost my appetite, which in my case is a great things. yahoo answers messed up my paragraphing.

Public Comments

1. yes but indent and smaller paragraphs