Chook Me! - How can I use bible scripture to prove that I should bang as many chicks as possible?

How can I use bible scripture to prove that I should bang as many chicks as possible?

Bible scriptures have been re-interpreted to justify wars, killing babies, polygamy, using drugs, owning guns and other normally irreligious bad things. I wanna go to church and pick up some how chicks. What kind of scriptures can I use to bag a hottie bible thumper type?

Public Comments

Sexual immorality is preached throughout the New Testamant as on offense to God. God created sex to be sacred between a married man and woman.
Be fruitful and multiply? But use a condom. We don't need any more versions of you running around.
Sounds like a great idea. I live in a Muslim country though, bugger
You can't. Obviously your whole outlook on going to church is messed up. Not going to sit here and preach about what you don't know and how you are crazy for even askig this. But i will pray for you.
once you find the way, mind dropping me a line and telling me how?
Look it up, but it says "Women are saved through childbearing." So your just trying to save as many women as possible.
And to think I was almost offended by your screen name. This question reveals how stupid you are though, so for me to be insulted by your screen name would be pretty stupid on my part.
You are talking about "Hemaneutics" which about interpretation of the word. The most common Hermaneutical approach is that the word is interpreted by the most obvious and simplest explanation. The Word says in MT 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. This means that finding someone you are not married to who you want to bang is the same as actually banging them. This makes even a virgin guy guilty of adultery. Since the wages of Sin it death, I am so grateful that Jesus died to fullfill the requirements of the law, because I would be hooped without Him! Bri ; )
doesn't it say after the flood to go out and procreate? anyways... you can tell them that your wife is barren and you need a baby: Genesis 16:1,2 she tells Abraham to sleep with her handmaiden so that he could build a family through her. this ones gross, but you can say that the world is desperately under populated and you need to procreate: Genesis 19:30-38 Lot's daughters feel an urgency to procreate. The only available man is their father. They decided to get their father drunk so they could get pregnant by him. And of course, Genesis 1:28: God made humans and told them to be fruitful and multiply Just make sure you wear a rubber, but that will go against the scriptures... You get laid, but you might get a kid. Work a condom in there some how and you'll be set.
People who form an opinion about an issue and then use the bible to support that issue are morons. You should have a question about an issue and then go to the bible to seek truth. That being said other things to consider are this 1. What time period was that book wrote in and what were the culture norms at the time 2. Who was the audience of the author of that book. (example in thessalonians Paul is writing to the church of thessalonica) It's important to know the historic contex for which each book was written to better understand the passages
Well, the true hard-core bible thumper chicks will follow the horrible, cruel, and immoral threats in the WORD for controlling the early christians (and jews, and muslims are no different). The Holey Babble says that if you express your love for someone youre not married to by getting physically intimate with them (and don't repent and change your ways), God will express his love by throwing you into a "lake of fire and brimstone, where you get to suffer agony beyond your imagination." Nice, eh? Jehovah, the god of boundless love and mercy ... kinda sounds like "allah, the merciful, the compassionate".... Well, those 3 religions are basically the exact same mindset.... BUT, not many church goers really know or try hard to obey the whole bible anyway, so as long as youre not in a really fundamentalist church, it may not be a problem. My mom was a semi-serious baptist believer when my dad got her to have premarital sex. He said later it was a mistake, because she felt guilty for it, and after that she didn't really like or enjoy sex for most of their marriage. She didn't like him either, though, so that may have been the bigger cause. But, still it's not a very good idea to try to change a christian womans mind into having unwed sex with you, cause the guilt can do bad things. I wouldn't do it, myself .... and for that matter, I wouldn't date a christian woman no matter how hot or sweet she seemed! I did it once, and later when I had second thoughts about believing the bible, she freaked out, and then became anything and everything BUT sweet. BUT, you could always bring up the old testament stories of men with multiple wives PLUS mistresses (concubines) (hundreds, sometimes) or sarah telling abraham to have sex with her servant so he could have an heir (that apparently started the Arab/Muslim race, and didn't THAT work out well for the Isrealites!!) And you can always say, well, everyone sins; they lie, lust, have greed, envy, curse, all the rest, and God understands we're not perfect .... so maybe a little roll in the hay is no worse than slipping with a swear word ... and besides, your love for each other is tatamount to a marriage commitment anyway, and what difference does a $200.00 piece of paper make. It's just for generating money for the state anyway. OH, THE RATIONIZATIONS christians make are almost endless ... and believe me, I've heard them all. I no longer think the bible is very true, but I'll bet only 5% of people claiming to be christians are serious at all about knowing and really following it. Dang, now God is going to punish me for this ... and I'm cursed ,,, just for trying to lovingly help out my fellow man. ... I hate when that happens. ... :-)
ha ha Don't get religious about this ... I don't think that the bible says that you should have sex oh, anyway I am muslim
Actually, historically, the Mennonites of Europe (I believe - someone correct me if I have the wrong sect) are notorious for this. Some passage about having to surrender the thing you hold most precious to gain salvation. The idea, at the time, was that what maidens held to be most precious was their virginity. Apparently it worked - otherwise they would not have gained such notoriety. Jim, http://www.bible-reviews.com