Chook Me!

I have the fussiest kid of all time. Help!?

My son is 11 and has been a fussy eater from the day he was weaned. I have tried everything. I've talked to pediatricians (who assure me he'll get better w/ age), used scare tactics, ignored it, etc. When he was smaller, I was told if he won't eat what you cook, then he doesn't eat. If he's hungry later, tell him you'll warm over what was for dinner. The problem here is, he will still not eat. I swear, he would starve to death, or at least make himself sick before he'd eat something he doesn't like (and mind you, he hasn't even tried a lot of things. he just assumes he doesn't like them). It's like he's afraid to try new things. Literally. He's laid in bed at night worrying that he's not healthy (he is growing, and is a healthy kid, for the most part), but it's not enough to get him to eat different things. His diet consists mostly of: homemade mac n cheese, pizza, bagel bites, cheese sandwiches, salad (he does like that, and he does like veggies, too), spaghetti with no meat in his sauce. He won't eat eggs, most meat, fish, potatoes, turkey (how can you smell a turkey cooking and not want to eat it?), (he will eat broasted chicken tho), peanut butter sandwiches (he will eat bread and pnut butter in spoonfuls or in a cookie, just not together), no casseroles. I mean, the list is endless. I am a short order cook and it sucks. My question is: Do you have a fussy kid? How do I get him to not be afraid of tasting things? The other thing is, even if he is brave enough to let something he's unsure of touch his tongue, he has himself convinced he isn't going to like it, so he doesn't even give it a fair chance. Help! P.S. I am convinced this is hereditary. His dad is fussy, as is his grandfather. It just seems to be getting stronger with each generation! And his dad tries to help, and will even try things he doesn't want to because he knows what a pain it is to be fussy. P.P.S. Please don't say to just feed him what he wants. The fact is I am a short order cook who doesn't want her child to starve to death. I need a REAL solution here. I have just scratched the surface here. This was long enough. Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for your advice!

Public Comments

1. Maybe try this....make up a few different dishes and blind fold your son and make him try each one to see if he can identify it. Give him some incentive if he tries this, like something he REALLY wants but you haven't gotten him yet but only if he is a good sport. Maybe if he can't see the food before he tries it it may make it easier for him to taste new things. Chef's do this to see how good their pallate is.
2. Seems like some kind of phobia. Can you take him to a psychologist or a psychiatrist? Good luck I know kids can drive you crazy! I was just wondering of a phobia can be hereditary?
3. Well, he is eating a balanced, if not boring, diet. I am sure it is hereditary - my husband is that way, I am that way, and our kids are that way. Let's reframe this, my husband was eating baby food until he was in college, he credits the bland cafeteria food for broadening his diet. I'd stop being a short order cook. He will not starve if he doesn't eat what everyone else does either. My mom decided when I was 11 that there was to be no complaining at the table, or I could leave - I could tell if she used the wrong margarine on the spaghetti or bacon grease in the pancakes, she was pulling her hair out. He is old enough to cook for himself, let him! He can learn to cook 2-3 meals a week that are to his specifications. I learned to cook and I took on cooking for the family often, and that let my mom off the hook, he can do this too. Let the fussy taste issues alone, he will give them up or not when he's out of the house - it's part of who he is. I haven't stopped being fussy, nor has my husband really, but we have learned to be more brave in trying new foods and found we like things we never thought we would. It took years, like your husband we know what a pain we are and feel guilty but I just can't stop that. All I have control over is what I say, and your child can learn that lesson too.
4. Invite his friends over for dinner and feed them things he doesnt like, and when they say it is good maybe if he sees his friends eat it maybe he will try it. My 3 yr old is going thru this right now and i am at a loss as well.
5. Okay, you're in luck. I also had two very fussy kids. One is autistic, if that gives you any clue since they are famous for it. There were only a handful of items my child would eat. The list was 5 items. Now, both my kids eat anything. Not only that, but unusual foods too. My youngest still has preferences, but my oldest literally will eat anything. If I can do it, so can you. Also my oldest child was around the same age as your son when I started. I followed this woman's advice because she also had an autistic child who was picky with their food. It's babystepping your child through the process, but this is necessary for such rigid thinkers and picky eaters. You really have to coerce them with the illusion that it's kind of their idea at least. It's time consuming. It took one month for me to get my child to eat a banana, however, once that threshold was crossed, it became exponentially easier to get my child to try new foods like a snowball effect. It didn't take a month for each new food after that. I agree that you should not feed him what he wants. You will continue feeding him the way he's eating now and gradually progress to varying his diet. It's a very gentle and humane approach and will save your sanity. Good luck, it takes great patience and love, but it can be done. Here is the link for the information. http://gfcf-diet.talkaboutcuringautism.org/picky-kids-eating-autism.htm